I hate the word “triggered.” I really do. Hearing the word triggered triggers me. And it’s become so popular and the norm for people to use it. In case you don’t know what triggered means, it’s a reference to something setting you off or upsetting you. For example, hearing about cheating “triggers” some people who have actually been cheated on. This has come up in several of my book reviews.
I want to address the cheating and the trigger in my novel, Friends with Boats, because I’ve been contemplating it. To me, when I wrote the book, I didn’t even think about the fact that the women were cheating, even though, indeed, they were! They are all married, yes. However, to me, that was not the heart of the matter. The book is really meant to be an exploration of what it feels like to be a person experiencing the doldrums of life, with changing bodies, deteriorating friendships, aging children, and not being seen or heard. It’s about the concept of wanting more, or thinking that the grass in greener and learning it may not be. It’s about appreciating what is in front of you, or working on the relationship you have, so you can live life to its fullest.
Mack Taylor, the antagonist in Friends with Boats, is really just a catalyst for the women to examine their lives and relationships and to improve them. His deceit and charisma is meant as a caveat, really, to not fall for what is shiny and to cherish what is true. I am sorry if this triggers some readers. And, honestly, I am surprised that I wrote a book about three unfaithful women, as integrity is everything to me.
The point is: the book is not about cheaters–to me. It is about three different people, who I think both men and women can relate to, who have their insecurities, their disappointments, fears, regrets and longing for something more. It’s about not being complacent and settling for less. It’s meant to inspire and encourage people to figure their sh*t out, because life is short. Don’t stay in something that doesn’t make you happy or, worse yet, hurts you. This is the most important lesson I wanted to convey.
In my opinion, a cheater is someone who is damaged and hurt; someone who really needs to reevaluate their relationship and life situation. I feel sorry for them, in some ways, even though what they are doing is wrong. Hurt people hurt people. Right?
It wasn’t mean to be a trigger.