Does Compromise Make a Healthy Relationship?

Full disclosure: I binge watched six episodes of Love is Blind in the last two days, and it’s got me thinking. The premise of the show is that ‘Love is Blind,’ and these couples meet first in pods and have about six days of dating and talking endlessly before proposing sight-unseen.

Seems kinda random, no? But it’s also kinda cool–that you don’t care what your partner actually looks like. The physical doesn’t matter…or does it?

However, this season is really disappointing, in that it seems really only one of the four couples is actually into each other. So, is love blind? IDK.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that when the couples leave the pods and move in with one another in ‘real life,’ they unleash their various idiosyncratic peculiarities. Instead of being a “normal” and compromising partner, they immediately lay down rules about how they can’t stand water on the bathroom floor, or they have to go to bed with the kitchen clean. This, to me, seems like relationship poison number one. They should not, on the first day home living together, demand that their partners assume all of their preferred habits and abide by their stringent rules. What ever happened to compromise? Aren’t all relationships, even friendships, about moving the needle towards the middle?

I totes will marry you. BUT, can you just make sure you do the dishes every night before bed?

This leads me to wonder: how much compromise is too much? I have a good friend who is completely content being single in her late 40s. She has friends, a solid career, hobbies, and she says she doesn’t want to compromise. This is how she views being in a relationship, and it overshadows her desire for a romantic partner.

I’ve always found this hard to comprehend, as I’m a complete beta, roll-over type, who just sort of goes with whatever works. I don’t even notice I am compromising when I am. But I think it’s great she knows herself well enough to say, “I should be alone.” I wish some of these folks on Love is Blind, or just in life, would stay single if they can’t compromise. It seems unfair to enter a relationship, if you refuse to budge an inch.

A healthy relationship, to me, requires some accommodation and also some boundaries. Don’t lose yourself, but also don’t be a selfish baby. Right?

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

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