My Mini Midlife Crisis

I may be in the midst of a mini-midlife crisis, maybe for one day: today. IDK. I just legit lost like two years of my life shopping in TJ Maxx and bought about 25 things, all of which ring some alarm bells. First, we have the heart “diamonds” for Valentine’s Day, because it’s my fave holiday, and I love hearts all year round. Oh, I’m so lovey! Guys, I swear these are real…Check out a pic:

Ignore all the freckles…focus on the shiny diamonds!

Next, I bought some clothes that are sort of high-fashion and out of my typical wheelhouse of just a black sweater and jeans. See, I was watching #BlingEmpireNewYork, and I decided I may need to become a fashion influencer. So I bought all these clothes, like knit shorts with matching blazers and bra tops, in the Runway section. To my dismay, I was like a size 14 in this European-sized section? So, I think I may not get that influencer job. Shoot. I am going to wear the gear for the hubs, though, and hope he likes my new style. Oooh, maybe it will be like a role play where he thinks I’m someone different, and we can play, “Meeting a Stranger in a Bar.” Or, maybe not, because I legit can’t do role play without making faces and cracking up.

This is us role playing football player and cheerleader, or drunk mom. And we invite our friends to join and make them wear football jerseys from our costume closet.

I also felt it was necessary to spend on lotion and air freshener, which I just sprayed. I was hoping for the fresh cut gardenia scent that it extolled on the bottle; however, I‘m afraid it smells more like a grandma who hasn’t showered. You know that stench I’m referring to–kind of a pungent blend of Jean Nate, powder, and moth balls?

I mean, how gross is Vanilla Sugar Cookie scent? Sick.

On that note, I also will be taking this Collagen stuff from #voost. I have noticed if you toss these collagen powders in your coffee, drinks, etc., it sometimes leaves this gross foam that looks like ghost skin on the top of the coffee. Anyone else? These fizzy drops though are delish in water, and may make my hair grow faster–ideally, the hair on my head only.

And, with that, I will leave you with this book, Menopause Bootcamp, which I got at the library. It’s pretty good! Four stars. Let me know if you need any recommendations and advice. I am an influencer, you know…

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