As I idled in downtown Boston traffic with my broken windshield wipers squeaking side to side, I couldn’t help but laugh that I was actually comfortable driving into the city without a care in the world.
I had to take a photo to remind myself this was true.
The reason this is implausible, and downright hilarious, is that this was not my reality for many years.
I was petrified of driving, particularly on the highway.
For example, in 2007, I had just moved from NYC, where I lived for many years, to Cape Cod. In essence, I had zero experience driving. Like, none. But then, I got a job as a high school basketball coach, and I was directed to drive a bus full of teenaged girls, who were loud and on their phones, to and from games all across the state. You have got to be kidding me… Me driving a school bus? And full of children???
I panicked.
“I’m sorry, but I’m really uncomfortable with the bus,” I told my boss, ashamed. “I really can’t drive, and this makes me super nervous.” He looked at me like I was crazy, and I probably was.
But the dread that coursed through me as I made a wide a U-turn in an Eastern Bank parking lot with a busload full of adolescents was real. I couldn’t do it.
For the remainder of the season, I sat in the passenger seat of the bus, just like I was in the passenger seat in my life.
Now, 17 years laser, (how time flies) I’m whizzing down the highway, switching lanes, like a NASCAR driver: unfazed, brazen, and confident. Granted, it’s not a bus, but formerly scary all the same.
It got me to thinking about how much we change and evolve over time and with practice.
I’ve grown leaps and bounds from where I was! For example, I regret that I missed so many of my friends’ weddings back in my 20s and 30s because of my fear of flying (read: I obviously had many anxieties back then). There was one in Belize, one in St. Louis, another in Florida. I missed them all. I was too afraid…
But, just yesterday, I earned Silver Medallion Status on Delta, because I fly every two weeks! I now get first class upgrades if there’s an open seat. Like, whhhhaaaaat? Bring on the champs when I buckle up!
The point of this post is that who you are and what you fear, today, is fleeting and malleable. We are constantly evolving and improving.
If you had asked me six years ago if I’d be fine driving in and out of downtown Boston, and flying biweekly, I’d think you were absolutely insane. No way. Yet, look! Here I am doing it. And I’m okay.
With exposure, and practice, you can overcome your trepidations and stretch yourself beyond what you think is imaginable.
Try it.
You’d be surprised what you’re capable of.