As I prepared for my vacation down South, I realized there was one thing I didn’t want to pack: myself. I need a vacation from me… Well, since that’s not possible, I had to wonder why I was feeling this way. I am just so tired of my brain running rampant with worries, fears, anxieties and nonsensical BS. It would be nice to be more “om” and less “argh.”
Yeah, yeah, I’ve tried meditation. In fact, I continued to breathe deeply, in an out, on my flight here, as the plane made a sharp turn, and I felt like I was on the Zipper ride at a carnival. I quickly searched on Spotify for “spa music,” but, to my dismay, I hadn’t downloaded it prior to the trip, so I was left with my daughter’s playlist of Katy Perry and Taylor Swift–not exactly Zen.
It seems to me I’m not alone in feeling a a surge of anxiety lately. When I texted my friend, she too was feeling especially hyped. The demands of work, kids, and family had left her feeling depleted. On top of that, just the state of the world with mass shootings, interminable COVID, and inflation feels, well, yucky. And where do we get off relaxing when others are struggling?
When Spotify didn’t work to quell the nerves, I did the next best thing: I ordered a Prosecco. Yes, it was 11 a.m., but it was a mimosa? That’s acceptable? Unfortunately, it came in one of those cans, and I really can’t enjoy canned wine. I know that sounds douchey, like I’m some sort of sommelier, who visits Napa on the regs, but nah’; they just taste funky and can’t replace the real thing.
When I arrived, we had amazing oysters from Sullivan Island and some cute, little salty ones from Massachusetts. I attempted to process my feels with my husband, but we couldn’t really talk over this woman who sat about 2 inches from us with her date mansplaining how she needed to manifest calm as she ranted about her job. It was like he’d just finished reading The Four Agreements before showering for dinner and barfed it all out on his date. She, unfortunately, did not hear him over the cacophony of her oppressive, irksome voice. I digress. I guess the point is, she too was all amped. Who is not amped? Are we all feeling this way?
Well, I’m about to go on a bike ride, and perhaps the sun on my skin and the warm wind in my face is just the remedy I need to silence my brain.
A vacation with myself is turning out not so bad.